


Danger Noodle

by deathishauntedbyhumans



Series: Pet Store AU [1]
Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pet Store, And I don't have any excuses for it, Friendship, Gen, Inspired by Real Events, Melissa memes, Memes, Snakes, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 05:12:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13474383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathishauntedbyhumans/pseuds/deathishauntedbyhumans
Summary: Vinnie works at a pet store AU! He meets Melissa --who likes snakes-- and Zack, who doesn't.





	Danger Noodle

“Hey there, welcome in! Anything I can do for you today?” 

The customer that had just come in, a teenage girl with fiery-looking, poofy red hair, grinned over at Vinnie and stepped towards him. Vinnie nodded a little, nonverbally giving her the go-ahead to continue. 

“D’you guys have any snakes?” she asked, and Vinnie looked her up and down before nodding slowly. “...Yes.” 

The girl’s eyes went wide, and her grin went wider. “Oh my god, really?” 

“Yeah, of course. We’ve got, uh…” Vinnie leaned back a little, trying to get a look at the reptiles from where he was standing. “A couple’a corn snakes and a ball python at the moment, I think.” He gestured the way he was looking. “Here, I can show you.” 

“Cool.” The girl followed him over towards the reptile habitats, and immediately glued herself to the glass where the ball python was. The snake was on the move, belly against the glass, and Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle as the girl let out an exclamation of pure glee. 

“How old is it?” she asked, and Vinnie stared at the snake, squinting as he attempted to remember. 

“We’ve probably had him about… a month, month and a half? So he’s around five, maybe six months.” 

“A baby!” the girl crowed without tearing her gaze away. Vinnie chuckled again, nodding. 

“Yep. We get all our animals in fairly young.” 

“Awesome,” she breathed out, and Vinnie couldn’t help but smile fondly down at her. Seeing people who cared just as much about animals as he did made even the worst customers bearable. 

“I’ll be around,” he told her, gesturing vaguely. She didn’t even look up. “My name’s Vinnie. Just holler if you have any questions.” 

About five minutes later, when he went back to check and see if the girl was still there, she’d gone. Vinnie shrugged, about to write it off, when she came bursting in the door, dragging a dark-skinned boy about her age by the wrist. 

“Melissa, I  _ really  _ don’t want to see a snake,” the boy said, trying in vain to pull his grip free. 

“Shh. Yes you do,” Melissa replied, not missing a step as she tugged her friend over to the reptiles. Vinnie watched in quiet amusement as Melissa pushed the boy’s head down so that it was level with the python’s habitat. 

“Isn’t he a beauty?” she asked dreamily, peering over the other kid’s head to see for herself. The python had slithered off the glass of the habitat and onto his stick, where he’d curled around it. 

“It’s a  _ snake _ ,” the boy replied, sounding highly disturbed by the concept. 

“I wonder if I can hold it,” Melissa said, obviously not listening. The other kid finally managed to pull away from her grip, only to turn and stare at her openly. 

“ _ What?”  _ he asked, but Melissa had already turned away, looking around intently. 

“Vinnie!” she called, and Dakota startled just a little. He recovered quickly, though, and nodded, smiling at the two and ignoring the horrified look on the boy’s face. 

“Can I hold the snake?” she asked bluntly, and Vinnie looked her up and down again. 

“...how old are you?” he asked, when he couldn’t gauge it well enough just by looking. Melissa immediately got a crafty look on her face, and Vinnie couldn’t help but appreciate it. 

“...are you going to ask for ID?” she asked, and Vinnie shook his head.

“Not unless you’re buying a live animal.” 

“Then I’m eighteen!” Melissa told him cheerfully. Beside her, the other kid dropped his face into his hands. 

“Then you can hold the snake,” Vinnie responded just as cheerfully, winking at her. She winked back. 

Vinnie tugged his keys out of his pocket and opened up the habitat without a hitch. He gently uncurled the python from his stick and let him curl around his arm instead before pulling him out and turning to show Melissa and her friend. The boy took a large, nervous step back, but Melissa wiggled forwards, as close as she could to the little python. 

“Well, hi there,” she crooned, immediately holding out her hand. 

“You ever held a snake before?” Vinnie asked, and she shook her head. 

“Well, actually,” she amended thoughtfully. “I held one at summer camp once, but it was only for like… two seconds before my counselor saw and freaked out.”

Vinnie chuckled. “A girl after my own heart,” he joked. “Here. You just wanna hold you hand out like this, flat… There you go.” He gently uncurled the python from his arm and placed it in the palm of Melissa’s hand. The snake immediately slithered towards her wrist, curling himself around her hand and wrist and then stopping there. Vinnie glanced up at Melissa’s face, and was pleased to find her staring, absolutely enraptured, at the little creature in her hand. 

“Does he have a name?” she whispered reverently, and Vinnie shook his head.

“Nope,” he told her. “...would you like to name him?” 

“ _ Yes _ ,” she whispered. “What’s your name, lil’ baby?” she asked, raising the snake a little to gaze at its eyes. He flicked his tongue at her, and Melissa did it back before saying decisively, “ _ Danger Noodle. _ ” 

“Danger Noodle?” the boy asked from behind Melissa, looking skeptical, but not any closer to moving towards the snake. “Are you serious?” 

“Yes. That’s his name.” 

“Well, alright, then.” Vinnie chuckled. “Danger Noodle it is.” 

Nearly ten minutes later, Dakota was finally able to coax Melissa to give up her new best friend, and she made him promise that if she came back the next day, she could hold him again.

**Author's Note:**

> I work at a pet store so most of these are going to be inspired by stuff I've actually experienced lmao
> 
> Kudos/comments are love!   
> Come scream at on tumblr @deathishauntedbyhumans


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